Max rarely sleeps in his bed. In fact, he only stayed like this for about 40 seconds, which is why we bothered to take a picture of him like this. Soon after, he began to cry and needed to be removed from the evil bed.

Odd, then, that he slept through the tv show that has the rest of the nation sobbing (we hope - maybe it's us): Extreme Makeover, Home Edition. If you are not a fan, it involves a bubbly guy with a soul patch and a team of contractors going to needy houses and rebuilding them. But you can't just be regular needy, like, "Oh, we can't afford a new house because my mom is a health care aide and my dad got laid off."

No sir, you need to triangulate neediness. Last week, the lucky winners were a cop who had lost half his friends on September 11 and his wife to cancer. Yow! They got a ginormous castle with a 1200 sq ft master suite and a funhouse for the kids, plus a fishing boat. This week, it was the siblings and parents of a Native American woman killed in Iraq. They had never lived in a house, ever, and so the show built them a, um, Native American-themed monstrosity with pictures of the heroic mom everywhere. They also threw up a Veterans Center on the rez and a prayer hut of some sort. All with granite counters and flat screen tvs, which are basically what most out-of-work Hopis have been asking for for decades. Or their real land back.

For me the big question is why war veterans can't afford a house on a goddamn Reservation. It's not like they wanted a 3-bed on the Upper West Side. Either way, a good lesson for the children: fight for your country, and someday, if you get killed, your heirs will, maybe, if the ratings are good, get a free house and shiny stainless appliances, plus free high speed internet access. Let's not talk about who pays the taxes and how exactly you'll maintain the hot tub. And still, Leah cries, blaming Max for the hormone cocktail behind it all.