Here you see a pile of shells. Did you know that in New Orleans one can purchase 12 oysters on the half shell for under 6 American dollars? One can. Crawdads are equally affordable but much more work. This dinner marks the first time in my entire life that I have seen oysters left on the table, but that's what happens when you go high roller and spend nearly 25 dollars per person to dine.

For that amount of money, one could purchase, if one worked where I worked, writing lessons. That's right, my boss has decided that, owing to the inability of a couple of people to write in English sentences, we're bringing in a writing teacher. Of those two misfits, one doesn't know how to use a semicolon, and the other writes emails along the lines of,

"To all employees: Given that our current vendor for staff meeting pizza and other lunch-related items, such as soft drinks, has recently increased its prices for delivery, we have elected to make a change. On a going forward basis, all food related items will be procured from Napoli Pizza. Please make the necessary adjustments and modifications to your Outlook Contacts and remove Two Brothers Deli. Thank you for your understanding."

Of the five resumes and cover letters I saw yesterday, responding to our ad for a writing teacher on Craig's List(!), four had typos.